>Here are the distinctions as I know them.
Mianzi is face, in the realm of social prestige.
We were at Lu Xiang, a local mall, me, June, and her brother. As her brother left, June shouted at him to meet us in Starbucks. Everyone within earshot looked over at us. We can afford to go drink coffee at what is, for the Chinese, an expensive, perhaps higher class establishment.
Smoking is socially acceptable in China, and a teacher related a story of how one of his rich students noticed the brand he was smoking and made a suggestion. No, not to quit. Why the hell would you do that? Chinese cigarettes have no warning labels, unlike those vile Western smokes.
He suggested that the teacher ought to be smoking a brand that reflects his income. His social status. China has the highest number of smokers in the world, and a pack of cigarettes can cost anywhere from 5 RMB to 70 RMB. People who can afford the 70 RMB pack buy it and display it prominently to others or use it as an offering when meeting others.
Men, of course. They associate women who smoke with prostitution.
Lian is also face, but in the realm of your moral character.
It reflects how moral society views you. This can mean different things, but let’s concentrate on traditional Chinese women, as they’re the ones I’ve had experience with.
One teacher remarked that a woman’s purpose in traditional China was babymaking and housecleaning. Not quite.
He forgot obedience. To the husband and his family.
One girl told me she must remain a virgin until marriage. When I asked what might happen if she did not, she said that her family would not speak to her for many years and any future husbands would not treat her well.
Right or wrong, it is related to lian—how society views her moral character. A breech of their expectations would be a serious hit in face not only to her, but her family as well. Talk about pressure. Lian.
Both connect to guanxi, a type of social relationship between two people that can transcend social status. You can call upon someone for a favor or be expected to do a favor for them, that is, consider them in your future plans and make sure they aren’t hurt by your actions.
Mianzi is of particular interest to the foreign teacher because it can lead to your Chinese colleagues engaging in “face-giving”. In other words, flattering you in front of others in order to give you ‘face’, even if it’s a complete lie told to give you face, which in their eyes may not be a ‘lie’ at all. Get it? Me neither, but I try.
However, it’s not always a lie. A female Chinese teacher will tell a foreigner that he looks handsome today. It could very well be true. The laowai certainly thinks so, especially if said teacher is rather cute.
But then he overhears her saying the same thing to the 100 lb overweight chain smoker with rotten teeth. That’s about when the honeymoon phase ends.
