>(John is in Starbucks tutoring a rich Chinese girl, “Rachel”, in English)
Teach me some bad words, demanded Rachel the next morning.
John had ordered her a frappucino which she slurped eagerly. He dug into a chocolate muffin and a piece hung on his fork. A chip fell and bounced across the table and tumbled out onto the floor.
You want to know some bad words?
Yeah! I want to know the real English!
Well, bad words aren’t exactly real English. Real English is how two native speakers talk to each other in various settings, and the English itself that they speak varies from setting to setting.
I want to know bad words.
He ate the piece and tapped the fork against his plate. Well, there’s the word shit. Do you know that one?
Shit. I know that one already. Teach me a new one.
There’s bitch.
Bitch, she enunciated the word. Bitch. What does that mean?
It’s used to describe a mean woman.
Bitch. Like, my mom.
Well I don’t know.
My mom is a real bitch. Is that right?
The sentence is correct, yes.
Yeah! She made the V sign and gripped her frappucino. She never buys me Starbucks or McDonald’s.
McDonald’s is not good for you.
She ignored this. Give me another bad word.
Let’s see. There’s damn.
Damn.
Yes. It means..well, you use it when something doesn’t go right. When you’re upset at something. You say damn.
Boring, she said. Give me an interesting one.
Asshole.
Asshole, she said and pondered the word’s meaning. Then she twisted her lips and tsked. That’s so disgusting! Why did you say that?
You asked for
Ugh. That’s really nasty.
He took another bite of his muffin and washed it down with coffee. The caffeine wasn’t strong enough for this. He’d have to order another.
Excuse me while I
Why can’t you speak Chinese?
He had gotten this question many times. It all came down to the simple fact that he’d never put forth the time to learn it. Beyond a few basic words and phrases, he didn’t need to. He had his girlfriend. He had his students. But to explain it to her in that way…
I never learned it.
Why?
I just… I never did.
Yeah. Why?
He lifted his coffee cup and said over the top of it, Why don’t you teach me some?
Some Chinese? Like what?
Oh, he said after his drink. Teach me some bad words.
She looked at him in disgust. Why?
Because…they’re interesting, like the bad words in English.
Bad words are not good, she said and slurped her frappucino
