Wuhan Style Streets

This post originally appeared on Medium.

Germany Style Street: a trio of Bavarian dancers.

Italy Style Street: a suspicious-looking Mario and pizza.

Spain Style Street: a matador on the run from a bull.

This is what greets you when you leave Guanggu Wuchang and enter the rest of the mall: Optics Valley Walking Street, the part they were building when I last lived in Wuhan. Each area is marked for the country it mimics, and there is a mock cathedral for weddings.

At the end of the Style Streets a small train hauls children around a pack of animatronic dinosaurs who screech at timed intervals. Beyond this a wall with cartoon characters promise a Children’s Park and much more, and looking at the dinosaurs and the wall and the sheer size of what was once a nice outdoor mall turned consumer wonderland, the old line from Jurassic Park occurs to me.

What else have they got in there, King Kong?


Style Streets is an appropriate name because this place has its own style. It’s not Italy or Spain or Germany, images of European life it hopes to conjure in the minds of the Chinese nouveau riche. This is a uniquely Chinese style, a monstrous maze of shops and restaurants and cafes, stacked so close you wonder how anyone ever turns a profit. This is not a billion Chinese jumping.

This is a billion Chinese swiping Union Pay cards, the middle class and their hopefuls keeping the economic bubble well-inflated.


In 2008 Guanggu Wuchang was relatively new. Incumbent foreign teachers spoke of a time before the huge mall, with its giant Starbucks cup and dusty Epcot center bubble. Behind Guanggu it looked like they were building apartments. Walls were raised. Construction crews were called. Money changed hands and the corporate planners stood by, awaiting profit.

Seven years later they have it.

The Style Streets aren’t the only thing that’s new. New World Plaza arose while I was gone. A mall like any other, the fourth floor of New World is dedicated to children. Children’s development centers, clothes stores, a children’s train that does a complete lap around the floor, a play area and a Toys R Us.

The Toys R Us is a compact version, but as a compact unit it crams in quite a bit; they have all the toys and games we have, at high prices. 779 RMB for a Lego set, 99 RMB for a small Winnie the Pooh doll. Big Pooh goes for 199. I don’t know about Piglet.

BalaBala, Me and City Kids and the other children’s stores are similarly priced. Custom-made children’s desks go for 1149 RMB and up. An English Library (爱说读) in the middle of the hall has shelves of children’s books in Chinese and English, and two child development centers will have your kids ready for Harvard before they’re potty-trained.

There are three play areas. One is an obstacle course, the other has a carousel and a small train.

The other is Happy Bar: Baby’s Paradise.

50 RMB per person grants you entry to a crowded play area. You remove your shoes but keep on your socks. Some parents come in while others stay at the counter, watching Chinese dramas on their phones or staring vacantly into antiquity as their children wear themselves out on a boat that rocks back and forth, plush ABC blocks, an obstacle course, four slides, a sand pit of fine grains, nine swings and a ball pit. An HDTV lords over a small stage. Children are doing ballet on a continuous loop or synchronized dances to classic Chinese children’s songs and doting grandparents lounge by the ABCs while their grandchildren dash up and down stairs and jump on trampolines and in the ball pit a toddler is crying while a fat boy keeps throwing balls at him, ignoring his mother’s gentle suggestions to stop. A child crashes his toy car into your shin. Sweat beads pop soundlessly on your collar. The letter B has gone missing.

In the middle a giant inflated polar bear spins ceaselessly.


The dinosaurs at the end of Optics Valley Walking Street screech. People take pictures with the dinosaurs and two girls exit Mean Dessert carrying cupcakes. I look over. A replica of a London tour bus is permanently parked in front of a cafe. Then I look back at the wall and the promise of more to come and I think it’s true.

King Kong isn’t far behind.

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A little episode at O’Hare Customs…

The customs agent was taking his time, and my wife and I knew that was a bad sign.

Then he pointed. A worse sign. And he spoke — the worst.

“You need to go over there. There’s a problem with her biometrics.”

Problems, you can count on those with US customs, and so can the fifteen or so people in this room.

Including the Chinese farmer.

From the countryside, he had come to visit his son. This was his first time out of China, first time on a plane, he speaks no English, and for his inauguration to the US, customs has sent him to this room, with no explanation. (( I know they explained it, but since he doesn’t understand English, I doubt hand gestures are adequate ))

He’s walking around, wondering what’s going on. A customs agent approaches him.

“Go sit down.”

But jet-lagged, 12,000 miles from home, the farmer is going tharn.

So our customs agent, well-trained in the subtle art of cross-cultural communication, digs deep.

“GO. SIT. DOWN.”

Fantastic. I never imagined that simply RAISING MY VOICE was all it took to break the language barrier.

Guess that’s why I’m don’t work for US customs.

It fell on my wife to calm him down. Soon — in comparison to say, geologic ages, not the lives of mortal men — they gave my wife back her passport, having fixed whatever problem was keeping us here. We left, not without an encouraging word to the farmer, getting his paperwork straigtened out, his biometrics corrected…

Or a fucking typo, for all we know.

荷花荷花几月开

Gao Wen was up early. He collected the bristlebroom from downstairs and swept his room clean. He repeated for the upstairs walkway and then went down to the bathroom.

They had running water in a pump beside the bathroom. Cold water. He got the water heater and a large bowl from beside the coal stove in the kitchen and cranked the pump until it filled the bowl full. Then he ran a cord from the kitchen and connected this to another cord that he ran into the bathroom. He plugged in the heater, lowering it to the water’s surface. It hung there. He’d heard from his classmates that a boy across town had electrocuted himself using one of these, not to mention that fire in Shanghai. Gao Wen’s cheeks puffed. He dipped the heater in. They swelled.

Then they relaxed. He lowered the rest of the heater in and waited. When the water started bubbling, he pulled out the heater and undressed and flung the dead mosquitos off the soapbar and lathered up. He tipped the bowl over himself. Then he dried off, put his clothes back on and put everything away.

He headed out. Migrant workers were busy on some newlyweds’ home and a man in gray clothes with a lit cigarette in his mouth heaped spoonfuls of concrete mixture into a tray and carted it over to a brick wall while above him his coworkers lathered bricks. Further down, a woman sat holding a baby to whom she sang in Putonghua as her other child pushed a pebble across their broken porch and crawled after it chirping.

He took a right. Merchants lined the backstreet. Some had been here since before sunrise. From their homes down the road, from cots in the back. They propped bland tarps and tarps cut from the rainbow and other tarps cut from the blind man’s rainbow on bamboo poles and some outside smoking and chatting and a woman knitted a quilt a puppy at her feet and a lean man in blue tugged a metal cart along, stopping to load garbage into it.

Gao Wen cut a path through the dawnbreak crowds to his parents’ store. Father was talking to that same uncle. Gao Wen got some money from mother, along with this: one of the uncles planning to buy the house had gone to the abandoned structure already there and broken everything he could find.

Now that uncle was out of the picture. And this uncle was trying to get his parents in. The boy listened. As before, father did not say yes or no, and soon, Gao Wen went to school.

While his teachers read from their books, he thought of the foreigner but kept their meeting to himself. If he didn’t, his classmates would ask him questions. They would expect answers the boy just couldn’t give.

During recess, Gao Wen and his classmates played a few games of he hua he hua ji yue kai. Five of them circled around one kid. He counted off the months and finished on one, any month he liked, and then they all chased the kid who would be next to kneel in the center, next to count.

After recess, he went to English class. In his grammar book there was a picture of a small boy fishing on a lake. And as the teacher lectured in Chinese about English grammar and all the students copied down everything he said, the boy’s eyes kept drifting over to that picture, to the boy trapped in it. And a question kept popping up: could he turn into a fish? If so, where would he go?

Gao Wen thought about this the rest of the day.